Tips and Secret's to a Happy Marriage. Can you calm down during a heated argument with your spouse? I read that women that can calm down are more likely to have happier marriages. Every couple argues right, and some conflict may not be bad for building a relationship. But how much conflict can a marriage handle before it leads to the D word. With men and women so TOTALLY different how are we expected to understand each other and live the "happily ever after" life they all talk about.
In Times Magazine here is what they say about Women and Men and how they handle situation:
When wives calm down quickly, they can express their feelings more clearly and communicate more constructively, coming up with potential solutions to their problem. As an example, let’s say that Karen is angry that Rick keeps coming home late from work, leaving her to put the kids the bed on her own. If they argue about this and she recovers quickly, she might say, Bloch suggests, “I feel resentful that I do all the work with the kids. Is it possible for you to come home earlier and finish your work after we put the kids to bed?”
Men seem to be not so good at initiating such effective problem-solving actions. Rick, for example, might suggest to his red-faced wife, “Why don’t you have a girls night out so you’ll feel better?,” which would only escalate the emotional level of the argument — not so helpful to solving the problem.
Here is how NOELLE handles situations!
1. I try to say what is bothering me without yelling
2. I give the silent treatment, which could last for days..
3. I seperate laundry and only do mine and the girls
4. I throw shoes and keys at him ( I find that throwing things at your spouse shows you mean business)
5. I cry
6. We finally sit down and work it all out.....
Does it have to be like this everytime? Why can't men just listen the first time we try and sit them down and talk? Why does it have to go through the other steps before we just "work it out"?
I read a few tips from webMD:
1. Do not use the "D" word. Just don't go there, it add a HOLE NUTHA LEVEL of anxiety.
2. Replace 7 Deadly habits:
The seven deadly habits are criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing.
The seven caring habits include supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting, and negotiating your differences.
3. No outside friends with the opposite sex unless they are gay! Why? WebMD says that the romance potential is nonexistent. So YAY if you have a gay friend!
4. Women.. LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS! Men... STEP UP TO THE PLATE!
Try one time to get talk to your spouse about what is bothering you, do it without yelling. If it doesn't work, call your friends and go out for a weekend and forget about it all!!! Come home and give your guy a big hug and kiss and I bet he and you will be ready to work out whatever the problem was.