We all want to surround ourselves with people who make us happy and push us to become a better person. Look through your contact list, do any names pop out at you? You know what I'm talking about- the people that call and you look at your phone and press the decline button. Come on- you know you have done it! And if you answer you roll your eyes and brace yourself for a bumpy conversation.
These are the people who suck the life out of you with negative attitudes, constant complaining, gossip, selfishness, or extreme dependency that is damaging you in ways that can cause depression and anxiety. So, how do you break up with your toxic relationships?
What is a toxic relationship to you? For me, it is the passive aggressive insults that I get during a casual conversation. It is when you know you have been insulted, but you are a bit stunned and do not have a quick come back. It is when you feel like you are on the defense all of the time, trying to justify the WHY of what you do. It's the person in your life that is hyper-critical, judgmental or abusive. I'm talking about the naysayers, the people who tell you all the reasons you can't rather than the reasons you can.
You wouldn’t hesitate to cut toxins out of your diet, nor would you think twice before removing toxic substances from areas where your children play, so why is it that we are so hesitant to remove toxic people from our lives?
I think that the most obvious answer to this question s that we are trying to avoid conflict. But sometimes avoiding the conflict actually causes us more harm in the long run. So here are some tips on pressing the delete button on the TOXIC people in your life.
1. Set boundaries and do not apologize for them.
2. Delete them "cold turkey" from your contact list.
3. Surround yourself with people that lift you up and do not drag you down.
4. Do not talk about that person. If you have to talk, then do it with a close friend or a therapist. LET IT GO AND MOVE ON.
5. Recognize the relationships that negatively affect you and RUN.
6. Have the courage to tell a toxic person the truth. Not only is this an important step in removing a damaging relationship from your life, but maybe this will give that person the opportunity to examine his/her own life.
You can change your own life by choosing who can be a part of it.
My advice: At this stage in our lives we do not have to subject ourselves to people that bring us down. Some personalities will not mesh no matter how hard you try. Life is too short to fight and be mad. We need relationships, but we DO NOT need every relationship. Keep the ones that love you unconditionally close, and everyone else forget... The end!
Big thanks to my girl Kim Copeland for editing my messy grammar!! XX